The journey into consciousness is a long and winding road. Often, even when we think that we have reached the peak, we are then asked to go deeper still, once again looking at all that we think we know, in order to shed the lies, manipulations and mistruths that have become our understanding throughout the journey.
On this journey into consciousness, we must become aware that there are lies in the truth and truth in the lies. It is in the learning to discern the lies in the truth and the truth in the lies where the real revolution of consciousness can take place.
My journey has also been a long and winding road. Once a stockbroker, relishing in the need to make money at all costs, losing myself in a sea of stocks and shares, hiding from the truth of who I am, I started to recognise that I had sold my soul, but this recognition did not come easily.
Plagued by six years of ill health and toxic relationships, with both others and myself, my journey took me from the bustling City of London to the high intensity lifestyle of Hong Kong. Feeling like I had made it, a stockbroker in Hong Kong, a huge pay-packet and all of the prestige that came with it, I quickly set myself up as a force to be reckoned with.
Pushing all of my fears aside, ignoring the desperate call of my body to take heed and relax, I set about setting my trading desk up during the hectic storm of the credit crunch whilst being a stranger in the country and to the Asian markets.
I don’t think that I realised at the time how much the pressure of doing this impacted my heath. I don’t think that I realised how much my desperation to prove myself was negatively impacting my mental health and I don’t think that I realised that my need to show my worth and value in a man’s world was impeding my ability to be the powerful woman that I am.
But that was the world that I had chosen to live in and my pride would not allow me to be anything but the best. My pride would not allow me to ask for help as I desperately tried to keep my deteriorating health a secret from those who would think me weak.
Plagued with toxins, awash with dis-ease and living in the barrage of Hong Kong’s noise, light and air pollution, I watched my health deteriorate as my trading desk flourished. I watched myself cling onto all that I knew for fear of losing my identity, even if holding onto my identity meant losing my ongoing battle with health.
In reality, I was losing myself to the identity that I had created for myself. To the person that I thought I should be rather than the person that I was born to be. I was losing myself to a system that seeks to strip us from all that is real and whole and instead plummet us into a spiral of deception, greed and frustration. For how can we be at ease, when we are trying to prove what we are not, instead of simply being who we are?
My journey into consciousness started the day that I finally found the courage to walk away from my fifteen year career in finance. When I found the determination to walk away from all that I knew, all that made me who I believed myself to be, and walked into the unknown. When I found the tenacity to push through my fears and grab life by the balls, instead of allowing life to slip me by as I continued to drown in the engulfment of ill health.
There has not been one single day where I have looked back and wondered if I made a mistake. The ill health that was once a curse, fast became the biggest gift that life had ever given to me. Setting me free from my self-imposed prison, I was now able to start to walk the path that my soul wanted me to walk, instead of the one that society deemed.
That has not been an easy journey – there are many bumps and winds in the road, but as my connection with my own soul heightened, I started to develop the consciousness that every wind and bump were simply another gift to help to set me free.
The journey into self is not an easy one, there will be things buried deep that we do not wish to see, but see them we must if we are to step into the true power of who we are.
And what powerful beings we are – if only we could release all that keeps us shackled and start to reconnect with the true essence of who we are, that is, our natural gifts, passions and dreams.
The journey into myself has found me uncovering gifts that I never knew I had. As a stockbroker, I felt that I was good at my job, but that was it. That was where it ended. There was nothing else that I had to offer to the world, apart from my ability to make money. But as I gently unfold layer after layer, gift after gift appears to me, in all of their beauty and all of their naturalness. Gifts that had been deeply buried as a child as they did not fit in with society’s norms and nor were they society’s money makers.
I stand before you now as a medium, a healer, a writer and an author, a podcast host, an inspirational speaker, a channeller and an overall pioneer of consciousness. I do not tell you this to show off about my gifts, although I am immensely proud of how far I have come, instead I tell you this to help you to recognise that each and every one of us has unrecognised gifts and potential, just bubbling away under the surface, waiting to be seen, waiting to be explored and waiting to be shared with the world.
As we start to connect with these gifts, we naturally start to heal ourselves from all that has kept us from being whole. As we heal ourselves, we are then able to shine our light of love onto the world to help to heal it too.
This has been the journey of my soul. A long and tumultuous journey that has seen me going to the depths of my soul in order to cleanse it of all that no longer serves me. But as I have learnt to step into the true power of who I am, I have also recognised that one of my gifts is to help others to step into the true power of who they are too. And what greater gift is there than to be able to help another to recognise all that they already are and all that they can be? What greater gift is there than to help a disempowered society to see how to empower itself again? What greater gift is there than love?
Love has been the thing that has helped me to see with clear eyes. As I learnt once again to love myself and reconnect with my true worth, instead of the worth and value that society put upon me, I have also learnt to see the true worth and value of others. I have learnt to see others in their true beauty, instead of through the eyes of competition and greed. I have learnt to see the true power of each of us as individuals and how we can then collectively come together for the good of mankind. I have learnt to be free.
Freedom is the ultimate goal. It is what our soul craves. It is what keeps us awake at night, calling our name, asking to be recognised. It is what tries to gently guide us from a life in captivity. It is what tries to show us all that we can be, if only we could see the captivity in which we are held. It is what sparks the divine within us as it asks us to walk our path. It is what asks us to be us.
And as I pulled the thread of freedom, allowing it to take me to where I need to be, I have started to see with open eyes. I have started to see all that is true and all that is not true. I have started to see all that humanity could be, if only humanity would find the courage to set itself free. I have started to live with love in my heart and compassion in my soul. I have started to recognise my role in this game which we call life, as it gently, gently, slowly, slowly starts to unfold in front of me. I have started to recognise the true definition of consciousness, in all of its beauty and all of its glory. I have started my journey into wholeness, as I recognise all that kept me from filling my void. I have started to become a way-shower to help to guide people out from the darkness. I have started to show humanity that they can be free…
To find out more about my ‘journey into consciousness’ check out my first podcast The Power of Transcendence. To delve deeper into your own ‘journey into consciousness’ you may find invaluable guidance and wisdom in my book The Spirit of Life.
First posted on Thrive Global founded by Arianna Huffington with a mission to end the burnout epidemic with sustainable science based solutions that enhance well-being.