As the day finally dawned upon my soul, I took my last breath of Hong Kong’s polluted air and boarded my plane to South America.
Who knew what adventures lay ahead of me as I said goodbye to the place that had been home for the past 4.5 years. Although was it really home? Did I really feel safe there? Did I feel rested and relaxed and supported? Did I feel like I could nestle in the bosom of its comfort whilst I cried deeply into my pillow? Did I feel that it would wrap me up in its strong and powerful arms as my heart broke in two? Did I feel that it would pick me up from the well trodden floor and nurse me back to good health again? Did I feel that it would gently sing me a lullaby to quieten the torture of my mind?
Hong Kong – a place that chews you up and spits you out whilst tantalising your senses with fine foods and wines. A place that speaks to your greed whilst shutting off your soul. A place that holds such promises of joy whilst drowning out your passion. A place that made me and broke me in one fowl swoop. That pulled me into a sea of destruction whilst igniting my heart to be all that I could be. That stripped me of all that I am to allow me to be all that I could be.
And where would I be now if it was not for the hectic storm that is Hong Kong? Would I still be drowning in a sea of stocks and shares, pretending to be happy, pretending to be all that I could be? Would I still be allowing my dreams to be crushed as I sought to make money at all costs? Would I still be allowing my heart to be broken over and over again as I did not have the strength or wisdom to see that my own boundaries were failing me?
Would I still be allowing the depravities of sickness to hold me in its grips? Ravishing my body, taking from me all that made me sparkle and shine. Would I be allowing it to hold me in its clutches as I became less and less of the person that I believed myself to be? Or would I have seen? Would I have learnt? Would I have found the power to transcend into the person that I have now become if it were not for the grips of ill health pulling me under?
Should I be grateful for the shadow of myself that I had become? If only I had listened – listened to the gentle call of my soul that whispered to me, over and over again, ‘this is not the path that you are meant to be walking’. I see now, that there was an easier way – a way for me to be free of my suffering and free of my pain. A way where I could have realised my dreams more quickly if only I had listened to the beating sound of my heart.
But had I have listened sooner, what would I have learnt? Would I have learnt to honour myself above all others? Would I have learnt to heal myself, my body, my heart, my mind? Would I have understood the power that I hold within myself as I repaired a life that was broken? Would I have recognised that the ‘Great Unknown’ holds magic in its invitation? Would I have witnessed how reconnecting with our natural gifts and passions is the very thing that will help us to know who we are? Would I know who I truly am if I did not first know who I am not?
And so, the cycle keeps churning and swirling, pulling us in and pulling us under, spitting us out and chewing us up, asking us to face ourselves and face our demons. Asking us to be who we came here to be whilst showing us the barbarity of living a life that is not conducive to our soul.
But this is the name of the game – a game that we came here to play with love and with hate, with greed and generosity, with power and misalignment. This beautiful game in this beautiful life that gives us the opportunity to set ourselves free from our self imposed chains. That allows us to experience all that we wish to create, through pain and through ease, through joy and through anger, through love and through hate, for when we see ourselves in our entirely we are able to see all that we are and all that we can be through the eyes of love.
If you enjoyed this article you many also enjoy listening to episode one of my podcast The Power of Transcendence which goes deeper into my journey from stockbroker to healer, medium and author of the channelled book The Spirit of Life.
This article was first published on Illumination Publication on Medium. Medium is an open platform where readers find dynamic thinking, and where expert and undiscovered voices can share their writing on any topic.